Melodious song for you

Family

2011-04-05T00:54:00.002+08:00

The last thing i ever want to post here is about my family. Always living in my own world how things will be fine and things like that. How perfect is my imperfect family.

But now i'm fighting against my tears and write this entry.

我的家早已经破了。怎样骗自己也没用了。

I lost my family once and now i'm looking at the tragic happening again.

I don't wish to speak, i don't wish to explain.

but i need some where to vent my anger.

Feeling a bit light headed. Most likely too much anger.

Am I angry? Not really.

Than what am I?

My aim, my dream had been demolished a long long time ago.

I should have see this coming.

Why did I allow my close ones to hurt me again.

I know I know you all may feel that i'm wrong to say this kind of things.

But if you guys stepped in my shoes, you will understand me.

I want to cry it out loud but yet I can't do that.

I must be a tough girl to stand up on my feet when i fall.

to smile when things are crumbling down.

AGGGHHHHHHH

DON FEEL LIKE WRITING ANYMORE

Time to express myself.

2010-12-08T02:37:00.002+08:00

After reading my private blog, Yan's blog and our blogs.

I decided to post this post here.

Things won't too well lately and i'm not speaking out and these following questions you might be interested to know the answer.

1) What happened recently?

Part one~ Vernon

Well me and Vern kinda not talking anymore and as to why. Well I don't know either is more of he don't want to contact me and stuffs like that. Hopefully he is fine. I miss him though and Still love him as my brother.

Part two~AJ

Well a lot I would say. Well know a person by some accident(ps serina I spelled this word without dictionary) and end up this person kinda betrayed my trust. Well this person, AJ( not the real name and just happened that i kinda don't like the name) I met him and became quite a good friend with him. This is because I wanna "replace" Vernon in my heart but it was obviously failed. AJ became greedy he not only want to be my Vernon he also wants to be my lover.

At that period of time me and yan was not in good terms and Vernon was out of reach he was the closest person I could talk to. In the end just say that he utterly DISAPPOINT me. Well he is not important but definitely the cause of the fire.

Part three~ Yan
Because of the AJ SHIT Yan got kinda insecure. He felt that I will be leaving him or something like that. Had some hard time. Well but i'm glad that recently things still turn out well.

I really can't imagine life without him by my side. Despite of the test that was going to start in 30 mins he sent me to a clinic and make sure i'm save and I have to ask him to go for the test before was too late. This just show how much he cared. Once he was back he came into my room and gave me a hug checking me again and again to make sure i'm fine. End up I just had a very bad menstrual cramps and food poisoning. Days before this happened he just lied that he does not love me anymore. I know the reason why he said that but still I kept thinking what if one day he mean it? What if one day he just say he don't want me anymore.

I looked him into his eyes with my tears on the brim of my eye sockets. He asked what's wrong I said nothing but cry. He gave me his hug and kisses to clam me down as if he knows that that was what I need.

End of the day he just hug me and say he love me and that will never change.

I love him too.

2) Why am I so quiet recently?

When my emotion became so deep I would not like to talk to anyone except for yan as he could simply able to guess what I was hiding. The reason why I don't want to talk to anyone because I don't want anyone to know everything about me and well perhaps some parts of me.

Shall not elaborate.

3) What on earth happened on monday?

Well Me and Yan woke up early in the morning and went to JP's Starbucks to have breakfast and study there before the test. Everything was just fine until we about to leave. I felt some cramps similar to those menstrual cramps and thank god I was wearing pad as I guess that I might be ovulating. Other than that I start to have dizzy spells. When we were on the train I start to feel the pain growing and my ears starts to hurt. I could not difference the pain that I was having and I had an urge of puking and shitting. Once the train stops and Dover. My sight suddenly became dark and I could not hear my surrounding. I was about to faint. I rash to the ladies and start all the food poisoning stuff, you knowing all the puking and stuffs. When I got out my face was pale and that was when I told yan that I was able to go for the test. I asked him to go for the exam while I go to the clinic myself. He was worried so he decided to send me to the clinic. Rang my mom's office and told her my situation. She rushed down to the clinic and took care of me. End up got myself two days MC and missed two test. One of which i'm going to have a retest.

So that's all folks. I will be continuing my novel after my exam so wish me goodluck^_^

Ps. Started playing pardus too.

I :waps: pewpewing

got scam

2010-09-06T21:54:00.002+08:00

Went to see a Chinese medical doctor because i injured my hand. At first i thought it wouldn't hurt to try a new shop, so i stepped into the new clinic in Boon Lay shopping center.

Initially I was supposed to go to a Western doctor but i didn't go because i was afraid of getting an injection. I thought everything was well thought up until the Chinese medical practitioner pulled me into the sick bed and poked needles into my hand. So....that's how i got an acupuncture without my consent!

Finally they took the needles out and massaged my hand, before wrapping it up with some bandages. So in the ended i was scammed of $78. =.=

P.S Mingyan is helping me to type this blog because I cannot use my hand.

It's over

2010-09-02T23:53:00.002+08:00

Things are over between me and yan.

I don wanna to say anything else...

Just wanted to be left alone...

I am going to be MIA from this blog for sometimes.

Anything please call me...

I beleive

2010-08-31T01:15:00.001+08:00

每一天睜開眼時針改變著一切

風吹過望著天飄忽不定的感覺

不想說是與非是非都沒有絕對

可是我不後悔因為有你在身邊

＊Cuz I believe Cuz I believe 　

每個呼吸都有意義　

逝去的太多啊沒有時間歎息　

再迷惘也繼續　

Cuz I believe Cuz I believe 　

你說的一切我都相信　

你握著我的手看著我的眼睛　

我比誰都確定你的心

＊每一天夢在飛翅膀累了不停歇

揮著手想著誰回憶是我的依戀

受了傷掉眼淚你就出現在眼前

約定的都兌現給我最美的畫面

Repeat＊＊

我相信

Smile Ting Smile

2010-08-28T20:18:00.002+08:00

Smile Ting... i'm telling myself this... No matter what i do I always hurt someone. And i don wanna to...

I am sorry....

Memories that craved in my heart

2010-08-26T14:06:00.000+08:00

I missed him a lot. So much. I do love him... I still want to go back to his arms. Embraced with each other nights after nights. Smiling, crying, doing unglamorous stuffs together. I missed him... Times like this I just want to hug him tightly and never let go.. I love him... Hearing his voice over to phone already makes me feel better. I missed his soft caring voice, I missed him..

I want to see him again. Smiling at me holding my hands telling , everything will be just alright.

This is not just for the memories we had but is the memories I want to create with him in the future. I love him that's why I cant give him up.

You are not alone yan. You are not. I love you, you still have me... I still trust your promise.

thinking about things in life

2010-08-24T17:14:00.001+08:00

at my student house right now, just met darling had a great chat with her. Well she still not telling me about her problen yet. Well she is right about things around me. to me things are not as easy as what it seems. maybe I am really zi xun fan nao but well maybe not. Sigh... is like I even have nightmares all the time. dreaming about one day his mom called and tell me he suiside himself. I dono to me is my responsibility to keep him strong. I am thinking hard right now. yes I might to harming him more if I stay with him but at least staying with him he knows that he at least have someone to relay on and also no matter how many people tells me that I am tain zhen I still believe that yan will become good again and things will be fine again. sometimes I just want to lock my feelings in and confine myself. perhaps is better for people around me... I am trying to get use to the life I am having.My emotions are so numb I dono what to do or what to say. Maybe for now I should try to live my life alone and think of what I really want and make myself clear that who are the baddies and the goodies in my life. Stop thinking about that stupid dog who bit me still would listens to me. the world is not as wonderful as beautiful like what I taught it could be.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.5

Early in the morning

2010-08-23T06:09:00.000+08:00

Wow is so unusual for me to wake up so early in the morning... Most likely going to jog after my breakfast.=]

Last night he hugged me like as if i'm going somewhere far away from him...

Sigh...

2010-08-18T03:42:00.000+08:00

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do

When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

And when you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah

And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me, yeah

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
And when you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too

And when you're gone
All the words I need to hear will always get me through
The day and make it ok
I miss you

I missed you a lot...

What can i do?

Knowing that these day would come and one day you'll be totally out of my life.

What should I do?I missed you badly..

Even the cherry tomatoes in my fridge reminds me of you.

I'm determined not to be your girl but yet i'm the one not willing to let go.

I missed you so much, I cried and dream about you.

What do you want?

My love tell me something i don't know.

My love for you is this much and yet is not enough for you.

What do you really want?

I missed you so much that i almost can't hold back myself and wanting to ran to you and hug you.

I missed your kisses, your hugs and embraces.

I just simply missed you.

The room seems to be so big without you.

The picture seems lonely without you.

The bed seems cold without you.

The smiles seems fake without you.

What should I do without you?

I'm drowning myself in my work trying not think about you but everything i do i think about you. I missed you badly. Silly me cried so much, cried so hard. What am I anticipating for?

I don't want to be where we supposed to be

I just want you to be there for me.

but still like what i've promised.

I'll smile and walk away...

Emotion breakdown

2010-08-18T02:44:00.000+08:00

I laughed, smiled, joked, angry, sad, cried all in one day.

perhaps ever since he broke up with me...

I cant help thinking about him and missing him.

The more i feel lost the more i wished Vern was here but i know this will not happen.

What am i hoping for?

I'm really glad that knight was there for me. Darling and chris bro were there too. Really relived to know that i'm not totally being dumped.

I'm still hurt.

あなたは私の個人的な天使です

2010-08-17T19:05:00.001+08:00

I'm missing you in someway~

An angel left my life

2010-08-15T01:19:00.000+08:00

Good news to my reader of The Guardian Angels! I am writing chapter two and going to publish on next week. Sorry for waiting for so long but well it was because i ran out of ideals and do not know how to end the story.

Well somehow or another. I know how the story would end... Well I am not going to tell ;p

Currently i felt kinda empty. Someone important to me decided to return to where he should be.

But no matter where it is good luck! I'll miss him..

Cant believe this is happening but thank god he sent another person to help me now.

but no matter what he is irreplaceable in my heart....

I'm feeling so wrong right now

Tell me something I Don't know

2010-08-10T02:23:00.000+08:00

Really, just for a few months this guy could change so much. Where are all the gentle and kindness. Endless speeches and romantic evenings?

Seriously are you telling me that all these while you were like that and that was something I don't know. Whole day out. you got the time to play your mafia wars but don have the time to call me or even text me? Is like I am texting the air with no replies. You didn even ask how was my day until i told you to do so. And you even thought that that was what i wanna hear. Are you kidding me? Are you telling me that for these 1 year plus this is how much you know about me? I Don't want a "friend's" question but a lover's one. I mean even someone i met not long ago could talk to me with at least two sentences. And even derek would just say hi. REALLY YOU ARE KILLING ME INSIDE OUT! When you agree to get back I thought that things were going to be okay cause as long as we both try things will be fine but now? I tried so hard. So hard. Suiciding myself to get hold of what you want from the relationship. Ya if you are telling me you tried by coming my house everyday to accompany me. Think again. Yes you were here my but your heart's not. What could I say. If I say things like that you would think that I am trying to implant something. Something bad either you;ll say you won't want to come find me or says things that doesn't make things better. In fact made things worst. I told you a lot of times that those words and actions you did is not working out. It was making things into the wormhole. I am really sick and tired of all those shit. At time I was on the verge of breaking down but where area you? Yea and you'll say all those bullshit that what you are incapable of making me happy is best to go for another guy blah blah blah... Do you think I'll feel better if you say things like that? I Don't think so. Why can't you just be who you were you used to be and not like now. Can't you see and changes? you said that you are tired do not have energy I say is bull shit! yea why the hell are you tired? Because of all the late games and stuffs and me? I'm just being shoved aside like an old toy that lost its favor. This is how I feel.. Yan I can tell you this if you still continue being like this and not going to change a thing or improve anything. This relationship will be RUIN by you!

I HATE BEING ABANDON AGAIN BY SOMEONE I TRUST!

I'm am going down down down

2010-08-09T21:03:00.000+08:00

I went to the goat farm, some farm, qian hu fish farm and bollywood veggie farm with my cousin and family and my two bao beis.

It was fun and happy=]

Too tired to elaborate. ask me if you want....

Still I felt lonely without you by my side. Sometimes I wonder if I am your girlfriend.

Really don want to talk anymore....

Heart broken

2010-08-09T01:26:00.001+08:00

Well today was a busy busy day. Woke up early in the morning to go to aunty Theresa's house to move to granny Shelly's house.

Took a bet set and a king size mattress. Thanks=]

Packed the rooms and kitchen today. so tiring. It's killing me.

I met a new friend today~ Davian. Well just say we are sort of fated in some way=]

Hmm... cool knowing new friends but uncool about the things around me.

I know that you were tired but at least give me a smile so i can a peace in mind. It just made me wonder if it is so tiring being with me. Feel so upset now...

How I wish you were here like how things were...

New Day

2010-08-07T22:29:00.000+08:00

Today dear went to work for the first day in LG.

The shirt is so cute but in his point of view is gay.

First day was not so well for him I guess no sales and crowd.

I went to dairy farm to teach today. Cool the girl was not as difficult as I thought she would be.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I went to get a couple ring for both of us. Initially I thought that it would be nice if I could get one for him as he got me one last year but i don't know why I even got one myself. Why am i doing this? Was there any significance of doing this. He came to my house and fell asleep instantaneously this shows how tired he really was.

Sometimes I wonder why i felt so hurt when he was about to leave me and why i feel so emotionless when he is just right beside me. He asked me last night if I was ignoring him. I wasn't I was just simply wondering about things around me. Things revolving in my life is getting more and more complicated. Times like this I just want to be alone. I can't believe that I was able to stay until now. I guess I love him.

Tomorrow will be very busy for me. Going to aunty Theresa's house to help to pack her staffs and move to her mom's place. And also the King Size bed is coming in. Loved it!

I always wanted to design my own room but the thing is I do not have a room of my own. I just gonna wait for the day to come. Been practicing Etude but it seems to be no improvements. Upset though.

Kinda miss him and Serina Darling right now. Wondering how both of them doing. Love you all.

hugs and kisses

XOXO

Feeling Down

2010-08-07T05:39:00.000+08:00

I'm feeling very down right now. Why is that so if you may ask... Well just say that i'm upset because of angels around me. My Guardian Angels.

Well memories been unfolding before me. Flash back of my life was put into film and I watched it as the days gone by.

First angel:

Days were not so great for me. Almost broke up twice this month...

At the very moment that i realized that I might not able to hold him on anymore my heart shattered in to pieces. Why do I felt that way? Because i Love him? Sorry but i have to admit that I don't know What's love is anymore. I know I love him but i just could not explain my feeling. I lost to that shiny rectangular thingy that was successful to capture his attentions and I feel being shoved aside.

Second angel:

I was glad he called but somehow i was not in ease when i know something is not right.

We know very well but yet I risked it. Triggered his inner monster but i know no matter what happened he won't hurt me because in my heart he is my angel and I love him.

Both passions for both angels are so different. I know that you must be thinking either OMG she loves two person at once! or Lucky you that you have two angels you can look out for. Whatever you are thinking is up to you I only know my love for both of them is unique.

Been listening to JoJo and SHE. Finding my inspiration of continuing my online novel.

Dreams tends to be broken but I still hope on this hopeless dream.

Hey i'm back

2010-07-16T16:27:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone. I know my blog was so died again.WEll recently there's a lot of things happening.

I'm sort of getting myself stressed up because of my bro. Really he is the one who is tearing everything i've build up for. I hate this feeling. Really hate it a lot. I'm not going to help him anymore guess i want to be selfish once a while to enjoy myself.

I HATE IT!

I realised that I was a jerk

2010-05-14T01:30:00.000+08:00

Dear is staying over at my house today.

Well... He was playing Grand chase with my brother while i'm using his lappy to do ICD homework. I came pass his old blog and i read it all over again.

I stared at the words the the emotion the expression he wrote in his blog. It really hurts a lot to see that i was a jerk a big fat jerk to hurt him so much. So much that i could not believe that i've forgiven myself over it.

Tears in my eyes.

1st stay over at my dear house

2010-05-02T02:25:00.000+08:00

Stayed over at dear's house for the very first time. In fact the 1st time i've stayed over someone's house.

All excited.

OMG!

2010-04-17T11:55:00.000+08:00

OMG! Some one stole my bikinis and my bra!!!! AGRH!!!!!!!!!! Great i do not have bikini for the pool and i short of one bra to complete my set. Angry this prove one thing either there's some sicko girl like my stuffs and take it or there perverts in my estate!

Dear females,

THIS IS A WARNING!

DO NOT HANG YOUR BRA OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE!

Love tiffy~

I want ham ham

2010-04-16T20:52:00.000+08:00

HI folks!

It's been like a week since I've blog about my life. So what's the latest buzz if you asked?

I started a new job in popular E learning department selling some e learning stuffs...

Not bad pay job, but tiring.

1st day of work Yan was so sweet he came over to find me and cooked dinner for me.

This is the very 1st time he cook fried rice for me. I'm so happy and really glad that he is so lovely and caring~

Recently i have the rush of having a hamster maybe two. But somehow i know is impossible cause of my mom.

Sigh... Very vex about things around me. Got to stop here. Need some rest.

Bless everyone.

1st lesson

2010-04-05T14:04:00.000+08:00

Violin lesson 101.

Yesterday was the 1st lesson, so the teacher came in at the right time and we started by playing a few notes. It was hard for me as i cant sight read the score. Sadded, Lucky for me the violin score in triable clef and that helps me understand to score easier. I need more practice and stay happy=]

Just completed my new blogskin. I'm very tired so i'll shall blog this post shortly.

On top of that i'm having very bad cough and flu~

I'm happy that a person whom i really care for is not avoiding me. this really relives me.

It will be nasty if a person you really care for start to ignore you or even avoid you and that's what i'll not like to experience. Okay i shall stop now really need to get some sleep.

Love you all~

Thank my beloved hubby for buying my 1st violin for me. I'm really touched.I love you

1st oversea trip

2010-03-27T14:42:00.000+08:00

Woohooo... Last friday had a lot of fun. Went to Malaysia with ms wong, her mom and yan. 1st oversea trip with them=]

We went to the holiday plaza and ate to mac there. Their mac was like super cheap!!!

One mac nugget meal in SG with lunch meal is like 4.50 bucks but in JB is like only 5.80 in RM which is only like 2.20 in SGD Is like so CHEAP!!!!!!

After lunch ms Wong and her mom when for hair cut so me and yan went for SHOPPING!

So we start off shopping at the bag shop.

Well they sold a lot of replica branded bags there. there were barberry, Lv, Gucci, Prada, JC and some others too. The 1st bag that caught my eye was a pink rounded bag. is cute but still ex.

Then we walked around the area. Something that i realised was that the shops there which sold those bags and pirated DVDs tends to close early but what i learnt from some of the shop keepers that they were afraid that they will get caught by selling replica stuffs. I realised a trend too. they tend to keep the replica LV bags in the store where we cant see. They only thing if you want to buy. you have to browse the models in the book and chose then the retailer will grab the one you like for you. I've learn a little skill of differentiating of the real and the fake LV so is very obvious that the bag taken out from the store is fake. Fake is good if you do not have the money for luxury items like that but for people who go for quality and brand names these are not good enough for them. To me as long as it does not look that "fake" I'm fine with it like the shirt i bought. Both me and yan bought burberry Shirt for 35RM each. In addition i also bought a jacket for 50 RM. The jacket is cute and warm. =]

Then we went to the sweet store to buy some food for my family. bought some prunes for grandma and crackers for mom and bro. I also tried a chocolate bubble gum cool but not as nice as what i thought it would be.

So headed to city square to eat jap food. Nice~ So shortly after that we went back to SG. The jam towards JB was like madness. Now i'm really impressed by the students from jb who come to SG study.

Overall i'm happy~

I did it!

2010-03-25T00:44:00.000+08:00

OMG!!! ARHHHH!!!!! I DID IT! I MADE IT! I PASS IT! Guess who's not leaving Singapore poly~ is ME!!!!! haha...

Well one month ago I thought that i would fail my repeated module DCS and drop out from school but end up~ i've pass!!! four Bs 2 Ds and one F though i failed maths~.~ but is okay at least i know i'm staying in sp with my sisters, brothers, friends and of course my beloved darling. We are not separating!!!(*in my mind* in a cooling beach me and my class running opposite side towards each other and hug~ you know those kind you see in tv=p) This is a wonderful day for me. Good news is i'm staying in sp bad news is i have two repeated modules which would not be good.=]

But no matter what... I've made it through and i'm really glad that there are people around me giving faith and strength and i'm looking forward for the next challenge and this time fully prepare for everything i want to be official GPA 2.0! hehe~

I love you dear looking forward for you 1 year anniversary~

私に保存してください神

2010-03-11T11:50:00.000+08:00

Hi loves!

It's been long time since i've blog. Thanks to Xav i start blogging=]

Well Where should i start...

k start with this few weeks at my new job.

It's been 3 weeks since i started working for Andrew selling flip clocks.

Sales was not bad but might not intend to work long cause i've realized that me and yan have not spent quality times together.

Our relationship entered in to another whirlpool. Tears in my eyes seems to trickled down my cheeks more often than i've expected. Every hugs and kisses we shared the pain was there. The sting in my heart was unbearable. I just felt like these touch would not belong to me one day. As days goes by , our phone calls grew silence. My heart sank everytime i ask him if he had anything to tell be. I was hoping a yes for an answer but what i've got was nothing. He said that i've been too relaying on him. The truth is he is the only person i could relay on because he is the only person who knows my darkest side of me... He is the one and only person i'll open my heart to. Not even my mom know anything about me. Sometimes the chirpy cheerful mask has to take of for a little while and the only person i wish to see is him...

Thank god. I've mastered all my courage and told him my feelings, he changed and turn back to me. He is my number 1!

Memories been unfolding in my mind. Details of the scattered dreams are putting back themselves in to the picture. I've no ideal what will be revealed to me but no matter what it is i have to face it alone.

私に保存してください神

The silent melody

2010-02-28T15:11:00.000+08:00

There are times that you may be in trouble and you are in rush for help but the people who helped you might be someone unexpected. And this happened on me.

Well let me start with last week after my birthday...

24 Feb 2010

It was our maths sem exam. My heart was racing as i did not really prepare for it.Went home and studied a little.

25 Feb 2010

Today Chris brother going to Taiwan so won't be back till next Tuesday so Serina Darling would have to miss him for 6 days. So in these days i'll be accompany her to fill her empty heart.

Didn't sleep the whole night just to allow me to wake up in the morning for the last FE lesson. Mr. Wong is really a nice guy he help us a lot in every different way.

After the lesson received a call from Darling saying that she was unhappy and unable to sleep. So i went to her house and talked to her and we played majong with sebrina and her. She just learnt how to play so kinda just training.

Went to starbucks to study

26 Feb 2010

Morning went for exam and studied for dcs and when to exam.

The sad thing is i might fail the DCS exam again and will be dropped out from school.

I called someone whom i have not been talking to since last year. I kinda feel bad to look for him for help cause is like i never contacted him and now because i'm facing some problem, I looked for his help. I was surprised that he still remembered me.

Now I realized that caring some one is like a song or a melody is frequent and smoothing.

Yan, no matter if I could get it through or not. you are always in my heart. I love you.

unforgettable birthday celebrations

2010-02-22T01:58:00.000+08:00

21 Feb 2010

When to my childhood place, Bedok, to celebrate my birthday.

It was an early celebration as my Loves ones. Despite the poor health brother chris was having, he still turn up to my birthday and even bring Mr bear and Darling too<3<3

We when to k in this family ktv which Wilson recommended. Is was super cheap! 4 of us only 56 and we can bring food up. Brother was sick so poor thing have to eat soupy things and got scolding from darling for eating chocolate. Me and yan bought chicken rice.I had hard time finishing it. We started to sing some songs in fact a lot of songs. Hey we were in there for freaking 4and a half hours! Most of the time only me and girl singing. Yan and chris was like dozing off for an hour. So me and yan when out to the toilet and yan received a call from "Lewis" s i sort of dumb dumb sit down there listening to him saying things that was irrelevant to what's going to happen next.

So i kinda walk in to the box too early and i saw serina screaming and the next thing i know was i saw a cake on the table.=]

A rectangle chocolate cake with 18 candles and a happy birthday sign from bread talk. Cool yeah, So she kukunaden on the happy birthday song and is like WOAH!!!! they sing song i wished and cut cake.=] Tada! and the cake was delicious! I love it a lot. Thank my darlings=]

So we when on singing than went out to buy some food and med for Chris.

End up sang till 11 plus we took cab back home.

22 Feb 2010

Happy 10th months anniversary my love.

Well kinda had some conflicts in the morning but things were fine now and i also sold the cat cage for 50 bucks and i'm broke! Well, 1st i bought a bag for my brother cause my grandma been nagging me to ask me buy a pouch for him so i did. 2nd some of you might know, my cousin and my birthday is one day apart so i decided to get a little present for her. It is cute=]

Met yan and mummy when on to lavender to renew his passport than when on to bugis to pray. We went on catching the movie Wolfman. Scary. three of us jump up from time to time. The sound systems and air con was like super good! And the movie quite cool but the ending was i little kinda expected. We rushed home for yu sheng. Cool this is the 1st time yan trying this and also the abalone. =]

23 Feb 2010

I'm officially 18!

Sweet~ I'm 18! Wow but well nothing much happen on my sweet 18 as you all know my birthday falls on the day before our maths exam and the best thing is i'm so going to say ttyn to my maths result. But let's worry bout this tomorrow.

1st wishes was from Ming yan of course, he messaged me.

His emotions were in the message and i appreciate a lot from him.

I know that he is having tight budgets recently as we might be going to malaysia and also our 1st year anniversary is coming in 2 months time. I know he'll like to save up for special occasions like that so i didn't really expecting anything from him. In fact, I just want him to be there beside me wishing me happy birthday. I'll be contented enough.

Morning sisters wished me happy birthday, Charmaine too.

We went out for lunch with saat too. Cool.

We went back to school to print some past years papers and tried to do. Don't really know how to but kinda tried at least.

When to jurong point to get my cake. Dear deco the cake and it was really sweet and nice. and ya before that yan went to the toilet so ask me to look around and than i find out they don't accept nets payment so end up calling Yan and tell him about it. And in the meantime I went to the toilet. So when i came out from the ladies he still in the gents so i called him again i tell him i decide to draw money 1st for the cake. So I went on to do my stuff and than he called back and ask me where was i. I told him my location and he approached to me. His smiles just melt my heart away. I just love him so much.

we went on to the icing house to deco a cake. Sweet and nice with lots of hearts=] I love sweet things=]

Went back home i was very touched by my grandma. She cooked mee shua for me. This is like the very 1st time she did it for me. My mom and her pack an Ang pao for me. and my bro called me just to wish me happy birthday. Loves my family a lot. my bro invite one of his best friend to my house to celebrate with me. A simple cake cut and a toast from the wine. There goes my 18th birthday=]

And when i turned around I found a SK jewelry bag over there. I took a look and Yan smiled at me. I opened up was the necklace i always wanted. the word Love with diamonds on the L word. I love the presents a lot. I love ming yan more XD

So this is the end of my Birthday.

Thanks for all the blessings you all been giving me=]

TTYN 17

I'm officially 18!

Examinations

2010-02-11T13:50:00.000+08:00

Examinations are around the corner this is the time i start to paknic and run about screeming for help. Well at least my FE is slightly saved by Mr Wong. <3 Hmm... CYN was like OK~ so normal and boring. Just that day one most of my relative came at the same time for a big reunion. My aunt and cousin came on the second day and thanks to serina i was able to ran out from the house for awhile=] three hearts<3 <3 <3

When to serina's childhood house to visit her neighbor and her Big aunt. Cool people around her are friendly and kind. Didn't really did anything much during the season in fact i don't even feel the enjoyment maybe because the exams are closer so got some butterflies in my stomach.

Been trying to study like some mad person till i forgotten about my birthday till someone ask about it. today going to celebrate with my beloved darling Serina and brother chis and my beloved <3<3>

<3<3>

Counting down

2010-02-10T09:45:00.000+08:00

New year is around the corner. Have you bought you stuffs. Hope you did it already. Well recently I'm a little mood less so won't be saying much. In fact that's all I have to say.

TBC after CNY.

Dreams seems to be too far for me to catch.

2010-02-06T10:27:00.000+08:00

Some people say that dream catcher is made to catch your dreams but my dreams seems to be too far for me to catch. Do you have the same feelings as me. Ever since young our dreams seems not coming to reality. Every time we had the sweetest dream during the night and the next day POOF! Everything was gone, I had this wonderful dream few nights ago. A dream that i know would never come true.

The dream seems to be imprinted in my mind.

It started as usual, I woke up in the morning wearing my night dress. I saw my grandma doing the same old chores, my brother still sleeping and my mom not at home. Everything seems the same until I saw this strangely familiar back of the person. I looked closely he was someone i once met and respect. He was wearing a ragged shirt and a torn pants. I stared at him behind those bars. He looked resentful. I turned my back and he said sorry.

a simple dream like that most likely will happened, That's how others think but I know it better than anyone that is impossible.

I have been forgotten.

Shopping spree week!

2010-01-25T09:24:00.000+08:00

OMG! I MISSED THIS KINDA FEELING!

Shopping is an antidote for depressions!

Been shopping lately, bought some stuffs for Chinese new year. So have you bought yours?

As I've mentioned on the previous week i bought this cute dress and shirts for my bro.

Last week.

Monday

Same thing in school is like a routine in life. wake up late for school and blah blah blah

Boring... Oh man trying to get a life here=.=

Tuesday

Met mummy out for shopping at ion and taka. Ever since i was a toddler, my mom never had the chance to really go shopping in town. So,me and Yan brought her there to shop and look around at the new buildings that my mom never seen. Shopped for hours but yet no avail of my dream dress. When to the basement of Ion, bought a lot of food and one of which i'll like to highlight is the Butter scouts popcorn from corney. The sweet taste of the popcorn still linger in my mouth. The tingling feeling from the shiny sweet popcorn POPS my taste buds! Bought some tori Q and some crepe with sucking pig filling. As we cant find a seat, we went back to our shopping spree. We stopped by a push cart shop and bought two mickey mouse shirts for both me and yan then we stop by fox. Bought two dresses from fox, one of which is a black sun dress. Is like OMG! I was wearing size S!!! Is like totally impossible for me to wear such a small size! M size was like ok but still a little too big. Black still the best color of illusion!
My mom chose a white dress for me. Guess what is fox KIDS SIZE! size 12! OMG! At the moment my mom show it to me m first impression was a 7 year old's dress! but end up my mom like it. i like it and yan like it. So, my mom bought to dresses for me. With a voucher, My mom got Yan a polo tee.

Wed
When to jurong piont, was trying to get a shoe for yan but too bad the shoe that he wants, the store do not has the size. When to levis i met si hao brother there and ya he intro me to a friend whom might had played with me when i was little, ps. si hao the the friend are my cousin friends so is normal i might know them when i was young. Yan bought a levis jeans and i bought a flats from mondo.

Thurs
as usual~ late!
Met Serina at woodlands at 9pm after i just got home i received a call from her. Scoffing through the phone, her weary voice worries me. We cabbed down to woodlands to accompany her. The details of what happened to her i'm not really in the place to say anything but just say that something huge happened in her relationship with Chris. What i have to say is that the little girl i've been protecting for these years has grown up. Is time to let her fly on her own. Man, i sounded like her mother than her sister!

Fri
Over slept and did not went to school.
Morning ping ping sis came over to my house and was bring kexuan and my god ma to bugis to she offered me a lift since i'm going to lavender to collect my IC.
First Stop we went to Tiong Baru to eat. The curry rice was delicious! I'm so going back again! My god ma was mentioning something about car license. Hmm... as you might know, i'm turning 18 in 23 days time and my god ma thought that it would be great if i have a license so if my cousin not in Singapore, i could drive them out. =]

After that we went to lavender and my cousin drove my god ma and Kexuan, my niece, to bugis.
Met yan at woodlands to get his converse shoe.

That's all folks!

School week

2010-01-18T08:21:00.000+08:00

Hi folks! It have been sometimes ever since i've blog! Hmm... what happened last week???

Well, how should i put it.

My family currently under some finical crisis( like always but is worst ) that i'm urgently looking for easy short jobs for easy money. When i say easy money it means not some illegal or something that abuse my reputations or something like that. What i mean is to get some jobs like voice over for some educational show or cartoon animations or some modelling job. Recently I've came across two attractive job. 1st is from this company that is producing some educational animation programme, they were looking for voice over for 5 roles, two person. 1st is the voice of a six years old little girl, which i've audited for. 2nd is to speak for 4 different fairies voices with different personalities which i find it difficult. next job is a modelling job for waxing company. Problem with it is the photo shot. I'm just uncomfortable with the way they going to shoot even though the owner is a very nice man. Is just that is my prblem here.

I sincerely apologize to him.

Sat when to work at vivo. Dear came over to find me and i bought some clothes from top man for brother and a wonderful dress from sugar house. That dress is so unique and beautiful and dearly. Well that's means i have to cut down on my rest of the shopping spree for new year.

Smile always everyone!

Love you all and happy spreeing!

Betrayed

2010-01-11T14:28:00.000+08:00

Well. Last week school term start. My results for mst is very very bad. I'm turning 18, my maths is 18 my Fe is 18 too! What's with me and number 18!

Sat when to work, nothing special happened. Well, most likely the only thing that had happened was wil not in his specs! And somehow he was really busy so didnt really had a chat with him.

Dear when to Junction 8 to work, so did not meet. Tried playing moonlight by Beethoven and kiss goodbye by Lee Hom. When home for more Sailor moon and changed my message tone to the pink panther theme song! Da lang~ Da lang~ Da lang Da lang Da lang~

Sun

Had a huge fight with my brother about the cat stuffs. End up the cat run away i think.

Sigh... Wondering how Tiger doing... Hope that it's fine now.

Went to watch Sherlock Holmes with hubby at jurong point. Nice show! but in between there was some technical error, the whole screen turn blank and no sound. SCARY! Lucky yan was with me=]

Today

Can't wake up in the morning thus going to visit a doctor later.

Checked my O level english result. C5! That's the best i've did.

Sometimes i'm not sure if i'm too sensitive or things were true. I know i'm a happy go lucky person but still I'm sensitive when things come in to friendship and stuffs. I've been betrayed before just that though i'm not being betrayed but the words you said might just pitch me. Once again I might be just too sensitive and irrational to think about this.

Dear hubby,

Despite the fact that you are really tired, you were always be there for me. Sometimes I felt that i might be just a little too selfish that i did not give you ample time for your own. I really hope that don't because of me you neglect people around you. You know i'll always love you no matter what happen. I know my "transformation" of some events make you feel happy but I've no ideal how long would this last. i'm sorry if this does not last but still i'll try to maintenance it. And Don't think that i've change cause i'm still me!

Love always~

I missed those days

2010-01-06T18:15:00.000+08:00

Today went to school and back.

School was great for these few days. Nothing much happened.

Watch blades of glory yesterday with love at library.

Nice show!

Miss my Darling Serina, never gotten a good chance to meet her after she's back from the Malaysia trip. Very tried recently. The cat was a huge trouble! Very difficult to take care of him. Need good rest. As what i've promised Yan, tonight i will be sleeping at 10pm in order to have a healthier body!

Dearest beloved Yan,

You know, in my heart you'll always be mine. Love you is something i'll never regret. I just want you to know how much you are important to me. I may not able to say it out but i ill try to show you. Shouting out loving you is not enough, showing has a more powerful meaning. I'm really looking forward to my 1st birthday with you.

Meow Meow Help!!!!

2010-01-04T15:32:00.000+08:00

OMG! My brother brought back a cat last night! Had a big negotiation with my mom then my mom then allow us to keep it. Now desperately looking a cage for it. As you know my house got my Grandma so is good not to let it keep running outside of everywhere and anywhere. Seriously, I still prefer a chinchilla and hamster! haha=]

Tiger(our pet cat) was so poor thing. He was injured and being abandoned. Sad sad. =[

My brother really attached to it a lot.

Chinchilla fancies

2010-01-03T00:36:00.000+08:00

OMG! Chinchillas are so cute!!! My brother was introducing me this very cute animal. Since young my brother and I like to get a pet be it a hamster or a dog. But our mother do not allow us to have fluffy animals as pet. Young was because of our poor health, Older because she think that we cant take care of it. so just sad. If i have the opportunity to get a pet, I'll like to get a toy poodle or a chinchilla.They are so cute so miniature!

Went to Dear house at 8 in the morning! cabbed there and sleep at his house. The bed, pillows, bolsters, and air con! With him hugging me till i fall asleep, its perfect!

Resting against his shoulder was warm and relaxing, Haven really rested for so long but today. it was great!

I love you darling!

A brand new year a brand new day

2010-01-01T22:38:00.000+08:00

Happy New Year folks!

Really happy that a year had past and things were finally an end for 2009!

2009 was a fruitful year. I found great sisters and brothers from my class, My Serina darling found her love and most importantly, I found my prince.

Reflected on the things I've done in this year. some things have to chance for a better future and somethings are best to stick to its status quo. =]

Smile alwayz=]

Happy Happy Happy

2009-12-29T00:52:00.000+08:00

After two days of agony, I could finally see him today. I missed him a lot. Even now he's right beside me, I still wish he could stay longer. My cough was a little better but yet not fully recovered. Today, laying on his shoulder, I felt so save and warm. A feeling that could never be replaced, Not much things happen recently, don't know what else can I say. Most likely going our tomorrow. so I shall blog tomorrow then.. night night everyone!

I miss you

2009-12-28T15:12:00.000+08:00

I miss you badly. real badly, Yan, I miss you a lot alot.

I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you.

Still sick

2009-12-27T18:50:00.000+08:00

Yawn... Went to see doctor this morning. took a few medications. Hopefully things will be better.

Tomorrow can see my love le..

Miss him a lot.

Super sick

2009-12-26T22:11:00.000+08:00

Still coughing none stop. Sick and tried of coughing and sneezing. God, I'm really sick this time round. My neck hurts, my whole entire body hurts like hell!

Hope to get better soon.

Blur Blur Sotong me

2009-12-26T03:07:00.000+08:00

Well, as the title says blur blur me it explains. Few days ago was our anniversary but is not our 9th month but the 8th month anniversary. I'm so blur to even mess up the order! These few days been busy with the expo show. I'm super super sick. Bad flu, sore throat, super bad coughing and fever. I can't really speak. I'm sort of mute now. lol. Had a hard time promoting my stuffs with all the breathing difficulties and stuffs.

Yesterday was Christmas, Last night, yan came over to my house at the nick of time to say merry Christmas to me. I cooked egg porridge for him and prepared herbal tea for him. Though is a night without wine and ham but it was sweet. We dance to soft music, toast our tea,look at him finish the whole bowl of porridge. Even though is nothing special but with him in this Christmas night is memorable to me. It's the simplest yet the best Christmas I ever had. I know I cant get him any present on time but at least I tried making him a candle light supper.

I know my cookery is not as good as darling nor my mummy but that's the least I could do i guess.

When to work. Almost fainted.Dear bought memory pillow for mummy and me. I bought cotton for ah ma and bro.

Feeling sick now. Shall stop here. nights everyone.

Merry X'mas Eve

2009-12-24T22:37:00.000+08:00

Merry Merry X'mas to all my friends and family. To all my love ones.

Here, i'll like to show my appreciation to people around me before the year end.

First, I'll like to thanks my family for being with me for all these years, no matter rain or shine.

Second, My beloved Mr. Endymion Lim Ming Yan. Thanks for believing in me and show me a world i never had.

Third, Ms Angela Wong. Despite the fact that you are not teaching me anymore, the care and love you gave to me is something that is warm and cozy. Thanks for supporting for all these years.

Forth, My beloved Darling Serina. For being my "bad" influence for all these years. Joking! Seriously, Thanks for being as my all time best sister i ever had.

Fifth, My Rocking Class. Lyne, Maine, Ting, Alina, Soo teck, Guan Quan, Xavier, Jovi, Kenneth, Wei Haw, Derek, Peter, Raz,Xing lu,Ni wei, Li ming, and even Charles. Thanks for all the fun and laughter you guys gave me. Love you all!

Sixth, My Kor Kor Chis. Thanks for enlightening me and give me value advices.

Seventh, All my love ones, Ping ping jie, Don kor, chi ying, jie yu, Vernon, Thanks you all for everything!

Eighth, Wilson and Teo, Thanks for being there for me.

Lastly, Everyone. I'm really sorry if i did not mention your name but it doesn't mean I don't appreciate you all. I do!!!

So, MERRY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!

ps. I'm sick, thus did not really write properly.=] smile always yeah.

9th month anniversary

2009-12-22T22:04:00.000+08:00

Happy 9th months anniversary to my beloved dear dear.

Today I was so touched by hubby's actions.

Morning around 10 I accompanied my mummy and grandma to Jurong West there to get choose some new year clothes for them. Then when to eat a little Nasi Lakmak then cabbed home. My hubby Endy yan yan was on the way to my house.

Reached home, brother was watching tv. then i just slack there to wait for my beloved hubby here. He came in to the house with a bouquet of roses, dressed smartly and charming. He sat beside me and asked me if i'm willing to go out with him for a date. So sweet right...

Then he booked a cab and we reached the Cathay. He swiftly held my hands and took the escalator the the top level. We went to hall 6, I did not notice what was the show we were watching but no matter what's the show, as long as is watching with him i'm bliss.

End up watching Princess and the Frog. Very touching story.

After the fun loving movie, yan accompanied me to meet chi ying at taka.

Waited for chi ying to end work and we went for dinner together.

At first I only know that he booked a table for two at a certain restruant which I don't know where. He held my hand gently and guide me to paragon. I was surprise that he was bring me there. Then i realised that we were going to have our dinner at paragon. Guess what he brought me to Akashi!!!! My god los.

and the hokkiedo snow crab was ALIVE and it MOVES! We ordered salmon shushi, salmon don set,beef set, ice cream, fruit punch, California rolls and chi ying's maki set. The food was delicious and EXPENSIVE! The bill came out was 160++ bucks! Is like OMG! The most ex food i ever had! The salmon was orange and thick! The rice was well marinaded. Ma cha ice cream was heavenly good.

End of the they we cabbed home. The day was great and touching for all the details he planned. It was a shamed that I was not able to make it that special for him.

Dearest Yan, I love you a lot and appreciate all the effort you had put in to make this day special. Just to let you know, no matter what you are not alone. At least you have me by your side to love you and care for you. sorry for not being perfect but i'll try to make things right for you. You are dear to me.

Updates

2009-12-19T02:22:00.000+08:00

Well... Let's start with monday. Monday S.C.E.T(Serina, Chris, Endymion, Tiffany) a short form i thought for us. We went to east coast, had a lot of fun. The salad was the best! And MIRACLE HAPPENS! I didn't get myself injured! Photos were taken and all are beautiful. Most of the photo were taken by me=]=] and all the photo taken were satisfying. Maybe I can stop being a freelance model to a freelance photographer!

Tuesday

out with family and went to office to collect something.

Wed

Went for the training for starhub.

Thurs

Tried out starhub job. quite cool and able to keep fit.

Fri

Going to work at city square for the next few days... BORING!

My dear dear hubby Endymeow. I love you a lot a lot..

EXAM CRISIS!!!

2009-12-09T11:01:00.001+08:00

敏感な感情

2009-12-07T01:53:00.000+08:00

無知目と何を言うことができる無能な態度によって審査。ここでこのポストは、私の心不合理な心で道理が書いている親愛なる読者。ここに多分同時読み取り誰にも言及していない、または何かを回避または私にしてください。見どころ。ありがとうございました。人々がこの世界で何を言うことができるの欠点を持って生まれる。多分誰かのせいにすることはできません。判断を1つずつ作られて劣等感を抱くのを聞かせています。判断のこのような、それは公平ですか？一部の人々はより教育、顔や社会的地位の面でそれが特権を持つことができます。それを1つそれは、他よりも多くのことを意味しない。特権を持つ1つの自分たちと同じように相互に人権を尊重する必要があります。これはどのようにi学校の中にどのように私の心は不安定になる可能性が私の人生憎悪を私に思い出させた。私は皆がすべてを学びましたに向けて楽観的になるが、人々は、私も人間だ忘れてしまう傾向がある演説をする権利を有する知っている。私も、感情があります。私は、自分自身、またはいくつかの一人私の愛によってそれが保護されるためには不要です時々私の権利を有するもので済ませることができます。私はいつも私の周りの人々を保護しようとするが、誰が私を保護するためですか？私は、ロボットやスーパー、人間ではない。私は女の子だ。私にも多くの中継は良いことではありません。人々と私の注目されるのを気にしないだろうが、私は与えられ、少なくとも、人間として私を尊重し私にかかることがあります。私はあまり見たことが、実際にタイヤの私にはどうすればよいことができます。私はまだ人間だ。どのくらいのiで保持できますか？私の忍耐力をテストしないでください。人々が私に愛情があり、私にとって、私はあなたに感謝と言って、この時間がかかる場合があります保護されます。人々も偉大なアドバイスは、おそらく必要がない与えてくれてありがとうと言うよ私に判断してください。

私はまだ一度私の愛を保護します。

Fulfilling day

2009-12-05T00:16:00.000+08:00

Well, let me start with things on Thursday.Hmm... Been going to library recently so thought of having a break by going to catch a movie. and guess what, is the twilight saga: new moon. the show was a little disappointing but that wasn't the worst. The worst is that some inconsiderate people keep on talking loudly and make unnecessary noises like wolf howl and stuff BUT Jacob Black made the movie worth it!

After the movie we went to the library and we saw a rainbow. it was beautiful! The previous night was a shiny moon!

Friday(supposedly today)

Today was a fulfilling day! All mine and Serina darling's cravings were being fulfilled. !st we went to eat soel garden which me and girl been pestering about. Cooked a lot of chicken for yan. His plate was like mountain? LOLX! Me and girl made some root beer float for both of them and it was sooooooooooooooo swwwwwweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetttttttttttttttttttttt!!!!!!!! haha.

2nd we went to ktv which me and girl been saying that we want to go for a million times! Went to sing and suddenly i became a little emotional. Thought of things in the past which made me a little upset but yan was with me and i know having him by my side everything will be aright. 3rd Yan is staying over at my house, so i'm happy happy happy!

Well, today sort of know something about someone that was very interesting, he's not exactly like me but we could understand each other. In my heart i would say he's my Big Brother!

Yan, Dear dear baby wolfie, I really appreciate the things you did for me. It might be some small things but to me you are just great for me. In the dark now, i only can see my silhouette of my hands and the diamond ring that you bought for me, shinning under the dim light of my lappy. The shinning ring reminded me that you are like the diamond which shone brightly under a dim light in my life. I love you baby.

Endless Sleepless Nights

2009-12-02T02:39:00.000+08:00

By demand from my darling serina, I shall blog more often. Well, Today,opps, i mean yesterday, I went to the library with dear dear to study some data communications system, studied for couple of hours then went for a toilet break.

Saw this piece of paper stating that they are opening classes for MTV dance, interesting might want to join. If Darling or dear dear accompany me, i'll confirm join in the dance! Do you know dancing will help you lose weight?

Really, i need some serious diet and toning! I'm growing FAT! So i'll be waiting for Darling's reply=]

By the way, i updated some of the blog information on the right>>>>>

so check out the change!

Hmm... Well,Things are flowing through my mind now after having a conversation with yan. Well i would say things happened like that was all my fault but i'm glad that our relationship is going back to where it started, the innocence, fun, playful relationship=]

He changed his blog, so kinda didn't have any updates from him... Hope that things are well.

Sorry yan, i really cant sleep so i'm posting this stupid post. I love you. All the best for the lab test tomorrow.

Scrumptious meal.

2009-11-30T12:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday had a great meal over and darling's. Almost all my favourite dishes. Chilli crab with fried buns, shark fin melon soup, sweet and sour pork( how i wish she could take my meat instead of the poor pig, cause i wanna to lose weight!) and a veggie which i don't know what is it called. After the mouth fulling meal, We watch the movie the girl next door. Interesting and inspirating show but is M18 so those little boy boy and girl girl cannot watch watch(Opps! That will inculde me!Haha!)

Now at the library studying for MST next week. I'm so going to be died if i don't work and harder. EXAM MODE ON! So i'll blog later. go study first before yan going to grill me!!!!!

Dear dear, Let work hard=] Love you!

Always be baby

2009-11-27T23:57:00.000+08:00

Days have past and things were great. We had great life! =] Went to dear's house today, first time exploring his house. His house got an organ, super cool, tried playing fur elise on it and end up sounded funny. He also got a table football which already rotting there for ages! His sofa is so FLUFFY! Very springy too!
His bedroom, no his whole house is SPARKLING CLEAN!

His bedroom is totally not like any guy's room, is neat, white, clean, a lot of inspirational words that he drew himself. His bed is so cute which accompanied by a little pouch doggy at the side of the bed frame. The closet was pearly white filled of his scent. Clothes are hung nicely and orderly, books on the shelf will never get lost, collections were kept nicely too. Dear's room is too good to be true man! is like the kinda bedroom i always wanted and did i mentioned that his air con is so quiet that i could sleep soundly without any disturbance.

Laid on his shoulder feel so comfortable, the warmth, secure feeling is still there, ALWAYS there. Sleeping in his majestic arm was like an one way ticket to lala land. Browsed through his photo and realised he didn't really smiled a lot when he was young as to compare to now. I'm glad that he is smiling more now=]

Dear dear wolfie, thank god things in the past is over. I'm still feel sorry for the things i did but i'll try to amend to you in any ways i can find. Loving you is my greatest happiness. You're always my baby.

hate is so painful.

2009-11-24T00:03:00.000+08:00

Have you ever wonder how would you feel if you are being hated.

I didn't know it until now.

Being hated, is so painful, especially a person you once cared for.

Wow, didn't see that coming.

Well it was guo an, not i should call him henry maybe i don't even have the right to call him by his name. To start with, it was about 5 years ago.

I was with yong sheng then, yong sheng timer me and i had enough of him. At the very right moment, H steeped in to my live. I know him through serina darling, H and I got very close, he was like a escape door for me to escape from my betrayed love. He's attraction for me grew bigger, slowly i was touched by him and even fall for him. on the other hand, yong sheng was with another girl, after he broke up with her, he found out i was with H. At first, it was all because of my immature thinking, i thought to do things like tit for tat. I betrayed yong sheng and be with H but something i don't know then was my feelings for both of them. I willing thought that i really love H more then yong sheng but there was one night that changed everything. That night yong sheng was at my house and he saw me talking over the phone with H. He could not take in, in despair, he cut himself. I was shock, I stopped him from cutting it deeper, then i realised how i was afraid to lose yong sheng. So, i decided to choose yong sheng then H. Is true that like what i always said to others then, i used H in order to break with yong sheng, hate to say that is not true. the truth is i was not contended with yong sheng and i fell for H in the most wrong time. I have to choose one, thus i chose yong sheng. I know i cant blame him for hating me but for the things happened recently, he had no rights to say about me.

He scolded me in msn and said a lot of stuff. saying that i betrayed yan *again* for wilson. He knows nothing about this and just did assumptions and judged me. Is unfair for me, wil and even yan! I cant blame him for things 5 years ago but now? If as a friend, a person who cares for me, i'll say thanks but for a person who's not. I'm speechless.

yan, after what happened this afternoon, you know you always be my baby.

Love is the theme for this season.

2009-11-23T01:08:00.000+08:00

Happy 7th anniversary!

Today accompanied darling to go great world city to work. A lot of f things happen to the customers. Poor darling have the bear the unreasonable b*t*h.

Brother in law came to meet darling since he cant work that day due to unforeseen circumstances.

Had a good chat with bro in law, realised that he really love darling a lot which relived me=]

Dear Dear came out from the house about 4 plus cause his old man. SAD!

He came over and went for shopping, he bought a charles and kieth clutch for me!!! Very nice!

then we went to wait for bro in law to be back then went for kenny roger. the food was great!

After dinner we went to watch Christmas carol 3D ! great film

Nostagic

2009-11-21T23:35:00.000+08:00

Went to work today, same place, same time, same people but felt so outcast from the place. I guess i must be thinking that something is different now. Stone for the most of the day. Got chance to meet Cheryl, a sweet looking young lady=] Had some chats with wil, short ones.

Had a tiff with yan but things are fine now.

Been listening to mariah carey's songs. There's really a few songs that really speaks my heart for me.

Candy bling

I want to know what love is

Miley Cyrus's Party in USA, Kicking and screaming are two songs i highly recommend too.

I seriously need to get my composure back before i'm used to be such a kid like how i am now. I'm reasoned by unreasonable mind.

It's time for me to take some time to chill, maybe go for k or go sun tan!!!

HOLIDAY FOR ME AFTER EXAM!

NEED TO RELAX!!!

Going to sent my darling to work tomorrow. Wish her and chris all the best!

Happy 7th months anniversary!

Thanks for the purple kube=]

Baby, Just wanna you to know i'm still trying and i'll keep holding on...

Brand new

2009-11-20T09:03:00.000+08:00

"I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you"

I found this sentence in my facebook. It was something i wrote a while ago not really know the meaning behind this sentence but now i can fully understand why i loved this phrase so much. I realised I could not be fully myself in front of a lot of people. For instance, Darling, Wilson, My sisters in class, family. There's only one person i can be as carefree as i want being with him. I watch the video clips i made for him for our 6th month anniversary, happy memories from the past unfolded before me. Then i realised how reluctant i was to let this to end. Days back to normal. Told yan the full story of me and wil and he understands=]

Glad things were back at one. I promise to be beside him forever, I also promise to be beside Wil forever but for yan is as a soul mate, for wil is as in friendship=]

YANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYANYAN

I'm so IN LOVE again!

Darling Serina~ good luck for the 1st day in Casio!

Chis too.

EVERYTHING NOW IS BRAND NEW!

HAPPYHAPPYHAPPY

Back at one

2009-11-18T19:32:00.000+08:00

Well, I'm back blogging. Hmm... Been MIA for quite sometimes. Reason? ESCAPING FROM THE REALITY!

I know this sound naive stupid or whatever you can say but i was really running away from the problem thought that Things will get well by it own. I was so wrong about that.

These few weeks were crazy, feelings were more then roller coaster ride. Things were insane!

I've been saying that things are complicated and stuff. The truth is that things are not complicated, I am. I could not decide between needs and wants and this is not my style. Thinking of people who encouraged me or i even encouraged before, i found my actions of doing things were so immature. I was really happy went i start seeing things like how i used to before things happened.

Thinking rationally is important. I would say yan is someone i really need, need him to be there to support me like a soul mate. A mirror to allow me to face my reality and guide me through out the road. Wil is someone i want, want him as a great friend, a shelter from my hostile reality. Like a gate to my dream. Both of them are important in my life be it a soul mate or some one more then friend yet a lover. I love both of them in two different ways.

I sincerely thank those people who were there for me during these time.

1st on my list is definitely Wilson

2nd on my list is my beloved Darling Serina

3rd my sisters, Maine, Lyne, Ting and Alina

and the rest that been there for me.

THANK YOU VERY MUCHY!<3

AND if anyone see my poor stitch wallet please tag me kks=]=] haha

*i just lost it* =[ sad.

Well, that's all i'm going to say i guess. Tune in for more actions!

Obsessed?

2009-11-11T22:17:00.000+08:00

Well, recently i'm just simply depressed.

Been thinking a lot. About yan, wil and things in school.

seriously, i've no ideal what i blog about.

I just don wanna make any decisions cause i know, things won't get any better. I cant decide what to do. Sign.

Sometimes there are things that i cant say anything.

just a question.

AM I OBSESSED?

complicated

2009-11-09T01:13:00.000+08:00

Today was okay, Wil was LATE for work!!! glad that he had fun yesterday.

Things are getting jumpy i guess. My i'm hungry(ps. this is random). Today sold a lk110

not bad. Accompanied wil to go sentosa to buy some things then head back to vivo.

Did i've mentioned that i like Jennife's body? MY GOD~ that show was awesome! When to watch with yan the other day. Went to RP concert with Darling and her boyfriend, yi hong and of cause yan. Had a great tiff! Sign~ don't want to mention it.

Come back to today. Well, things are aright i guess. Just that my heartbeats were a little

abnormal man! lol. going to get heart attack soon!

Was talking yan just now. He played three songs for me and they were:

Your Guardian Angel Lyrics - The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Avenged Sevenfold-Dear God (Lyrics)

Nickelback - savin' me

I cried once i hear the song play, with the lyrics, i really feel hurt, pain. Tears just welled up and rained down. I just could

not fight back my tears. My hand swell a little. the hurt on my hand could not compare what's in my heart.

Yan, for the tears you've shed for me, i'm sorry.. For the tears i shed for you, don't be sorry. I'll miss you. I know i will. The ring that was around my finger was not there any more Like you won't be there too. Hurt~.

Is this an end?

2009-11-06T01:01:00.000+08:00

Today, there's a lot of things happened. 1st, Wil and I met and went out. Chatted and told him a lot of stuff and feelings today. Thanks wil, I know you willl be there when i need help.

Most importantly is me and yan. Things didn't work it well. It's hurt when he send me those text. I know i'm at fault 1st but yan i really want to tell you that I really love you. I love you is in terms of lover and not less then that. Yan, tears i shed for you is the best prove to show how much you mend for me. I'm sorry I've not been considerate enough for you. i'm really sorry. I know sorries won't change anything but i just want to show you that you are really important to me. These few days of cold wars make me feel upset and when to a roller coaster ride. Some place we went before made me feel nostalgic. My feelings for you and him is totally different.My feelings for him is more then a friend but less then a lover. You are different, my feelings for you is more then just lover. Yan, just think, after what i did for you, do you really think I'll leave you? Vivo city hold on a lot of our memories, happy memories. I still remember all the single details even till now. Yan, Do you know how much you mean to me. I'm really sorry for the things i've done but I want you to know i'm still holding on. Reason being that i really love you more then i've expected. Tears welled up upon thinking of you, I just don bear to drop my tears and use your kind heart to win you back. I'm still wearing your promise ring cause i still believe in you that you'll do what you've promise.

happy birthday

2009-11-04T08:32:00.000+08:00

Happy sweet 18 to Wilson.

Well today was quite clam, nothing much too say. just that i'm still a lil tired.

Tomorrow meeting wil out for dinner, got a lot of things to tell him.

Seriously, I don't know what happen recently to me. Need sometime on my own to think.

My darling serina, Don't worry about stuffs around you. Let the time take place, time will prove everything.

Wil, see ya tomorrow yeah. Please take care of yourself, remember to eat the med and rest well. Drink more water and avoid seafood like crab, prawn and so on. just in case i'm not around, take care.

Yan, I'll wait and see everything. don't worry. Please take care.

bored

2009-11-03T13:17:00.000+08:00

In class now still have bout 1 and half hours to go. I'm so damm bored.

Morning almost cant wake up . Skipped GEM went to jp to have breakfast.

My heart hurts like hell now.

Did not have any appetite to eat. Been 3 days since i have a proper meal. Maybe i'm not use to this kinda life.

Later might going to fix my phone. Depends on wil.

Planning to get something for him for his birthday.

See first.

Yan was beside me all this time but we hardly speak to each other. I guess he is not happy. I need to get myself on my feet to see what can we do.

I'll keep holding on. I will.

Sea sick

2009-11-03T00:54:00.000+08:00

Things are sort of getting well and sort of not.

Me and Yan, I told him my feelings and everything and i hope he know how i feels.

hate to say that but the one making things worst was me.

Feelings are not right. Two songs in my mind now.

keep holding on by AL

ai mei by rainie yang.

Please wake me up soon yeah.

yan, i was glad that you've told me how you feel. i'm sorry for unable to meet up your criteria. Maybe they were right,'m not right for you. Not good to you. I do not have to right to say I love you. but i'll try to keep holding on.

wil, You are the only one by my side with me at this very moment. I'm glad that i lured some good old memories for you. I'm glad that at this time you still made the effort to come to find me. No matter what is your stand or feelings, ai mei is the only word i could say to you.

Serina darling, you were right this time. I'm so screwed up los. sign. Sorry sometimes I just got to be a lil girl for a while. Sorry to disappiont you. Don worry i'll try to see what i can do.

untitiled

2009-11-02T00:56:00.000+08:00

I titled the title untitled. Things happened to quickly, the feeling was like as if i just got sober from my hang over. I cant really remember what was taken place.

Friday

Went to wheel lock trying to fix my phone but end up need money. So i guess i just got to wait. Will bought a new pair of shoes from fred perry. Yan went to return his punch card.

Sat

Went to work. Felt dead. Been thinking about yan and I. Things wasn't doing well. I hate to say that but i felt that our relationship was in great danger.

will accompanied me to meet darling and chris up to eat and he sent me home.

I called him he sounded happy but i know he got sain after he hear my very bored voice. Sometimes is not i want to give tat sain sound. is just that time after time we are like nothing to say and things just simply got worst. I have a fragile heart, Yan i have one very fragile heart.

Sun

Since last night till 7 pm today. I've been calling and text him but he did not even answer or replied my msg. Missed him. Thinking what if i really gonna lose hi this time. Will came to jurong to find me. I'm really glad that at least at this moment someone really show care for me. He spent the whole afternoon with me. On the way home, he told me a lot of stuff. Sometimes, i might be to naive to understand everything. be it bout myself or anyone. Sometimes i need a clear answer.

Been crying for the whole entire day. didnt really eaten anything. No appetite. guess tomorrow also won't have the appetite. Even running fever now. 38.5 degree. Phew i'm burning. I'm trying to hold on to whatever I have. Tears just cant stop falling.

Where is my strength?

Yan, Do you know it kills when you hung the phone and never called back? I've been asking myself, is it true that you are not the one for me? is it true that things won't work out between us? Are things that unbearable? Our six months just gone like this? Tell me an answer.

Will,Thanks for being there for me at this very moment, I really need someone to lay on to hold on to me. I'm falling off the cliff and thanks for being the first to catch me. Thanks Gartedfield.

Happy=]

2009-10-28T22:39:00.000+08:00

O lvl ended and i'm so relived and happy!

I'm glad that the exam ended easily=]

Well, I'll like to congrats girl and chris to be together and last long kks=]

I'll cut this short cause i'm kinda tired.

Yan and I got a little quibbles but thank god things didn't get worst but i broke his psp. =[ sorry dear...=[

Happy 6th month anniversary

2009-10-22T12:39:00.000+08:00

Dear this is for you happy anniversary.

So the school bell rang.

2009-10-21T19:14:00.000+08:00

Tiffany's policy No.1: Never go to school on first day!

After what happened on Sunday, I could not wake up on the next day.
So that was one of the main reason haha.

Went to took my photo.

help.

2009-10-18T23:07:00.000+08:00

Seriously i'm very worried for yan now. No phone calls, texts or even a missed call. I've no ideal how is he doing now. Wild guesses are running through my mind. Will his life to be in danger in this kind of lion den? Got a text from him, tear rolled down instantaneously once i read it. I went in to a roller coaster ride with him. Things he said was lingering in my mind when i went to find him. My thoughts were running all over my mind.

I felt i'm being left to die alone. The road to find him was so near and yet so far. I was lucky that i have my beloved brother who accompanied me in this fearful night. He calmed me down and stay by my side. Is true, family is always there for you. And my brother prove it true.

Upon meeting him, tears busting out, not physically, but mentally and emotionally. My heart broke in to pieces when i saw his tired eyes. Is like god answered my prayer, I was eased that there was nothing amiss.

Lewis was there and I'm glad that he was there for him...

Thank god things are fine=]

Worry, Worrying, Worried

2009-10-15T12:25:00.000+08:00

Sign. Things happen recently. A lot of things in fact.

First, My bro got a job! At mac=] At least he won't be lazying like a lazy bug=] but his studies... Well he most likely will be retain next year.

Second, Yan was locked out from his house.Sign. I shall not mention much.

third, O lvl English is around the corner and i'm so not confidence for this. Aww. what should i do...

tbc...

YAWN

2009-10-11T05:31:00.001+08:00

Hi everyone! Let's continue with last week's topic. First, readers don't worry for me and yan cause things are going really well recently. I'm glad that things are over.

Hmm... Something happened to maine, is something personal so i'll shell not mention too much. but i hope things will be fine soon for her. Tomorrow there will have a chance for a rainbow=]

Well, me and girl met out and went out, nothing much. Mostly the usual.

a message for Ivan: Like what i've told you, You can play with fire but do not brn your finger. I hope you still remember and i know you know what i mean. Take care, don't strain yourself too much.

a message for girl: Some, like what i always say, You know how you fell in to the trap, you must know how to get to the top. Study hard and good luck.

Went to drink last night with yan.... Had a lot of fun. =]=]=] Really hope to go there again=]

met a few new friends, namely christ and sean.

a love note for my love: Dear thanks for being with me all these time. With you around i feel safe and sound . Like what i promise you I'll study hard for my exam! I love you.

(not so)happening week

2009-10-05T13:12:00.000+08:00

hmm. Well let me start posting about last week. I went for work at suntec courfour. That place is SUPER IDIOTIC!I don't like the staff and people there. sad. sad. sad. Apart from that working thing, i'd missed Wilson-kun's chalet!

I didn't went to work on sat and sun. Well... I recently found a friend that i''ll like to treasure. He's totally like my mirror image. I enjoyed and felt comfortable talking with him. he is like someone who has the same mind as me. Almost like a twins some how. If we are twins he must be my evil twin brother! WAKAKA. JKJK. He's not that evil nor that angel. i'll say i'll shall sit back and see how things goes!

Me and serina as usual. That went to pub she drank like siao! Haix. Silly girl think too much.

Me and yan not really going well. sign.

Miss my willson-kun, Vernon and my lovely ms angela.

Dear, I just wanted to let you know. I still hanging on on to this relationship is because i still love you. I need you. I just wanna be with you. I know you are tired and stressed but I really wish that i'm the one to listen to your thoughts and your sorrow. I know you don't want me to feel that i'm wei qu. But somethings can't be changed. I really wish that things will back to where it was once upon a time. You are still my prince charming, I'm still waiting for you with your white horse to bring me to far far away. And our love story will start with once upon a time and ends with they live happily ever after. I don't want to be a the end went the story still going on. My love for you i'll do anything, I know you would not want me to do anything but if

i could change for a better, why not? I love you my love.

can't find a title

2009-09-27T22:36:00.000+08:00

Freaking no mood now. Don't wish to say so much. moodless.

Thx wilson for the 17cents=]

The end. Really no F**KING MOOD

22nd september. Happening day!

2009-09-24T00:25:00.001+08:00

9am
I was so excited!!! finally the day for the studio shoots! Woots!!! Dressed up nicely and went to mom there to have breakfast with my darling serina! then there's this stupid man ask rina if she from china is like he's asking how much is she cost! i was like, MY GOD! f**k you old dirty man!

11.30am
then took cab to create talents but before that went for some nails treatment. i went to do some french nails and girl did the some too. the lady who helped us for the nails named Fiona was so sweet. she really help us with a lot of patience! our nails are like so short! =] our studio shoots is at 1pm. so fiona helped us to apply some quick dry thingy. so we can rush for our shoots. girl did a Mu dan hua on her ring finger and i did 3 purple diamonds on the some finger. With the help of my beloved ring, the effect of the manicure was perfect! i loved the design a lot!!!! then the lady boss was like trying to convince us to do the don't know what extension for nails. i was like HELL NO! fiona mentioned that it will spoil our nails so i rejected it.=] some of the paintings for nails are very nice. As i recalled, there's this piano picture for nails is very nice and this stars also. Very sweet and nice.

1pm
Celly, our consultant saw us doing the nails so is like she had a peek on our nicely done nails=] then we went to prepare. i was wearing a silver executive dress. So our make up artist, Joan, helped serina 1st for the make up and the hair. then follow up is my turn. girl went for casual shoots 1st. Basically we had to take four different looks, exe/biz, casual, elegant and bridal. our photographers are Dino and Issac. Dino helped me on the 1st shoots the rest Issac took for me. I love the photo shoot sections because i could pose my poses nicely and having fun too. my 2nd shoot was elegant, i took the dress that i wore on peter and Ms. Angela's wedding dinner. the gold one=] and i wore a little pink hat to add on to my cheeky personality! The elegant dress was turned in to a cute macaque dress. with the pink hat my photo will be more exclusive i hope=] Yan came during he's break time and i was so touched! he bought food for us too!!!! we took a couple of pictures on his phone and went in for the photo shoots then he went to pick Ivan up to meet us. =] then just after my shoots i change to the bridal dress.. i choose the dress that i like and Joan told me that if my yan is back we can took a few photo shoots too!!! So i called him, and he was on time to be back to the studio for the shoots. than he rushed back to work. =[ he was late because of me=[ sorry dear! then i continued on my bridal shoots. Ivan was here so he took with rina though they are not together. Ivan came out with his face red!!! blushing and it was like as though he just did some 2.4 run! After that i went to take my casual shoots. i took the little miss sunshine that yan bought for me from new urban male. I choose that because this can emphasis on my sunshine bubbly character and the cap that yan bought for me before the shoot! I took a lot of photos that i normally took. Poses were great and fun!

Nearly 6pm
The shoots finally end! We head to vivo cause i want go find wilson and we were happened to be on the purple line. I was late to invite Wilson for dinner. sadder, for the very 1st time i went to find him at his work. He played my favorite melody on the piano. Kiss the rain. The song melts my heart like candyfloss in my mouth. I could feel the emotion that he wanted to show in the song. i fell in love with the song. Took some photo with him and played some tunes. Than went to clacks jr.(i think is spelled like this) to have dinner. well, i could say that this s the really 1st time really had a good chat with Ivan. No hard feelings but i had not had a good 1st impression on him because some external reasons. Chatted on my relation with yan. It was like not a norm for me to hear advices from someone that i don't know well. It will be a norm if i give advices. He told me something that reminded me what was the initial reason of me loving yan so much. I have to confess that our relationship was not doing really that well. As what i said nicer a guy is higher the expectation and higher disappointment. No matter what , at the end of the day i still love yan on my bottom of my heart. Is just that he's too good to be true. FYI 22nd September is our 5th months anniversary! =]

9.30pm
I left them and went to meet up yan. Sign. It was so late till he was unable to go home. =[

23 september
Happy birthday to my cousin xin yong!

Received a call from Issac saying that we have to go down for casting for a bank ad! OMG! is like i just took the studio shoots and the next day i got for casting! Well i'm not really confidence for this ad. But i told myself i did my best=] On our way home there's some accident happened in front of out bus, so we were stuck for bout half an hour! Ivan sent rina home then yan sent me home too. After that yan met up with Ivan to go home together.=] Now listening to wilson's Kiss the rain.=]

Some little pictures after the shoots

Me and Yan❤

Me and Serina❤

Me and Wilson❤

Ivan and Serina❤

ME❤

hurt

2009-09-21T01:25:00.001+08:00

I've hurt him so much, so much that it's hurts me too. My heart is breaking. Seriously, I don't know what happened to me lately.I just want him to understand me better. My past is over. I've moved on. Tears in my eyes that coked my nose makes me feel breathless. Is this how he feels being with me, breathless?

There are things i kept unsaid because I'm hurting as much as he hurts me. Why can't he understand a little more about me. things might be better.

Dear, Yan, at this cold night what i need the most is your warmth. I miss you, so badly that i cried thinking of you. I love you, so much that I want to kiss you. Dear where is the love?

Yan being with you is so ironic. Is always a yes and a no, there's no a specific answer. But some questions a made to ask with an answer.

a song for you

2009-09-21T01:13:00.001+08:00

Agony

It’s late at night

With all my might

Wishing upon the stars

The words may hush

Like the river rush

I’m so sorry that I’ve hurt you so much

Oh baby,

Please forgive me

Of giving the pain that you don’t deserved

The tears you shed and

The smiles that faded

Showing me the agony I’ve brought for you

The teary eyes

And the weary mind

This is how long you’ve been though

The words may hush

Like the river rush

I’m so sorry that I’ve hurt you so much

Oh baby,

Please forgive me

Of giving the pain that you don’t deserved

The tears you shed and

The smiles that faded

Showing me the agony

the agony I’ve brought for you

New start

2009-09-19T11:41:00.000+08:00

Looking back at my life now... I'll smile uncontrollably... I even laughed at the mistakes I'd made... Days before yesterday was so different... I'm looking at my future now rather then sulking over my past... I've moved on... I'm looking forward to the day that my young dream will turn to reality... Which little girl didn't ever had ambitions like teachers, singer, actress, stewardess, model and so on... This is like so sudden, i always wanted to be known at least people seen me before. I know this decision i made is not really down to earth but with my family and friends who support me. I'm willing to give it a try. At least this is the chance for me to expose to a different world, a world that i dreamt of.

I had a long chat with brother don. Well, he said i should go for it but have to be careful. He gave me some value advices. I told him i really like to take project related to f&b. I mean I'm a person who have passion for food after all!

But things wasn't going that well... My right eye had some kinda dirt went into my eye then i rubbed too hard to that extend it has a blister in my eye! Went to consult a doctor. He gave me some eye drop solutions and medications. Lucky for me the condition got better after i took the medication and had some rest. Hopefully things will get better tomorrow.

I read yan's facebook status. He wrote something like, god, please, when thing looking up for her, when she breaks away from her past and moved on, don't let her fall... These words melt my heart. Though i don't know who is the "she" he mentioning. Yan is my reason for me to move on... He is my 推动力.

Thanks dear and everyone who supports me :)

For those who still laughing about my naive past. Move on, please. I'm now off searching for what i've missed and what i lost for my past. Future here i come!

Unexpecting day

2009-09-17T02:24:00.000+08:00

Well yesterday, Me and rina wen out had lunch and went to plaza sing to shop then went to meet Darrius=] Darrius was Rina's primary school find, he is one hilarious guy! Though he reminded me of wei yang but the way he criticized me was so different from Wei yang reason being was the words he said won't fell offended or hurtful.

Today, things was so happening! Well it's a long story but i shall cut it short.Rina and I were selected for MODELING! Haha! surprise? Yeah i am! Well i was expecting that ONLY Rina well get in but ME?!?!?!?!?!?! I was totally zero in confidence and me!!!!

We are going to take studio shooting next Tuesday! I'm so going to go for diet to reduce my fats at my thighs and butt!!! So i can get more projects. Really wish i got the chance to take KFC , PIZZA HUT and BENS & JERRY's project! Really looking forward for my modeling career! =]

WISH ME GOOD LUCK!

tiring day

2009-09-10T23:46:00.000+08:00

phew! just ended the comex show... Four days road show equals nightmare! i'm so tired! Though is happy to know a few friends. Friends like Lawrence, Andy, Abbe, "Anti-virus" girls, Ivan, The "Brothers" and a few funny and weird people=]

My sales was very good, good to that extend that i'm proud of myself.

Wilson came and helped... Thanks again bro! =]

Missed yan a lot. Didn't get any chance to meet him as he got work and so do i. Been thinking a lot again... Been asking myself if i'm the one for him, my heart just skipped a beat. Thinking that after that quarrel, nothing seems the some. I could not explain the feelings i'm having, i even questioned myself if I do love him as much as i thought of or is just another illusion. I really love him but this love is so empty. What's is love.

" What's hurts the most, is getting close."-What's hurts the most by rascal flatts.

Been listening to this song, the song just sang my feelings. Love is something that is simple yet complicated similar to life, life is so ironic. Being with him i'm being blessed and i'm really blissful but what's missing... Our fifth months anniversary coming but i don't feel exited, just asked some questions to myself what can i do for him to make him feel that he's special. He has been giving too much... so much that i don't know how i should react... Is this the kinda love i've been looking for.. I don't know... For the past two relationship was not even like this, is like for example in two weeks time is our anniversary i'll be prepared for everything. For Yan i almost did nothing but to think if he could even be free... i want to make his everyday to be special day. When time past i realised that i did not did my part as a good girl for him. Queries like if i'm even suitable for him or am i just another bundle for him?

Yan every moment i missed you, the only song that came into me is "What's left of me" the first song you sang for me. Yan, my song is only to be sang for you. You are my only boy that i want to grow up with, you bring me back to my fairy tale land. So, i wanna to bring you to our world that just belong to just for two of us. Where my melody will continue on...

Happy 090909!

2009-09-09T20:13:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone happy 090909! Today was fine, yan was sick but we still went out for movies. Thanks dear for every little details you've done for me. We went to watch dance flick is a super idiotic show!

Nothing much to blog about... Bro's girl drop by just now. She is SUPER cute and shy=]

Love my family!

elated- 4th step part two

2009-09-08T17:55:00.000+08:00

Today met a wonderful guy from yamaha. Though i know a few yahama promoter, i don't really talk to them but him is so difference! Wilson is the best yamaha promoter i've ever known! He is cute, humorous, caring and kind. Is like looking at him is as good as looking at vernon=] Very close, very warmth. We shared our exprience and memories with each other.

just had this flash back of some distorted memory about yan saying something like i'm an open book easy to be read. Signh... Better don't think about it, it ill break my heart.

When i was heart broken, wilson was the 1st person i thought of to talk to. I was really happy that wilson was there.=]

upset-4th sept part one

2009-09-06T00:25:00.001+08:00

when things happened i really do not know what to do... the only thing i know is to runaway from it... i'm still faking the smile and pretend nothing wrong but the fact is that i'm not alright at all...

yan been not like him lately, i got affected by him, by his feelings, his emotions and his motions. looking at him breaking down physically just reflect on me being such a bad girl friend. i'm upset broken down...

Last night, we had a heart to heart talk. The conversation was long but i'll cut it short. We had a sort of fight, we got too engross on our topic that hurts both of us. 1st was about my family, follow by his then about our drifted relationship. My feelings for him is there but the higher the expectation the more disappointment. My heart broke into pieces.

I almost gave up on to this relationship, not because i don't love him but because i don't want him to suffer and tired. Fortunately, he stopped me from doing it. the moment he asked me not to leave him, I felt my heart was being stab. The heartache was unbearable, i could imagine the pain i was giving him at that very moment. Tears whiled up and rolled down my cheeks, my heart got numb from the pain. Something in my little heart was telling me spare him from this agony. The pain was as bad as having a very bad migraine. I could not allow myself to do this to my love.

After this, we were worry worried if our relationship will turn out bad. Well let's sit back and see how things goes.

Insomnia

2009-09-04T03:25:00.000+08:00

Another sleepless night, well rina and yan at my house now. Well i had a few sleepless nights previously due to some problem at home. Well, my bro's problem was solved but my family problem still continued. Hmm... how could i string my words, my family currently facing great difficulties in finance.

Things wasn't that bad as good things happens too...Like knowing teo back again and henry... well teo is good in fact better then before. Is great to know someone you've lost contact with... another Henry... WOW ! How long i've wrote his name. I've paid my debts to him and that a good thing but i know what have been done cant be undone. What i've to say is sorry for everything.

Teo is like so good to rina! haha! but i really hope rina could understand teo and don't take him for granted=] i believe rina can de...

Test Blog

2009-09-04T01:56:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone. Tiffany here. Well previously my blog was missing. That's the reason i'm changing a new blog AGAIN! so readers please bear with me.

1st thing first, by popular demand, i've decided to try to blog in proper english to prevent people like SERINA to use my blog as a joke of the day. as usual, i'm sorry for spelling errors, grammar errors and so on errors. please correct me.=]

bless you all..
tiffany~

Melodious song for you

Family

Time to express myself.

got scam

It's over

I beleive

Smile Ting Smile

Memories that craved in my heart

thinking about things in life

Early in the morning

Emotion breakdown

あなたは私の個人的な天使です

An angel left my life

Tell me something I Don't know

I'm am going down down down

Heart broken

New Day

Feeling Down

Hey i'm back

I realised that I was a jerk

1st stay over at my dear house

OMG!

I want ham ham

1st lesson

1st oversea trip

I did it!

私に保存してください神

The silent melody

unforgettable birthday celebrations

Examinations

Counting down

Dreams seems to be too far for me to catch.

Shopping spree week!

School week

Betrayed

I missed those days

Meow Meow Help!!!!

Chinchilla fancies

A brand new year a brand new day

Happy Happy Happy

I miss you

Still sick

Super sick

Blur Blur Sotong me

Merry X'mas Eve

9th month anniversary

Updates

EXAM CRISIS!!!

敏感な感情

Fulfilling day

Endless Sleepless Nights

Scrumptious meal.

Always be baby

hate is so painful.

Love is the theme for this season.

Nostagic

Brand new

Back at one

Obsessed?

complicated

Is this an end?

happy birthday

bored

Sea sick

untitiled

Happy=]

Happy 6th month anniversary

So the school bell rang.

help.

Worry, Worrying, Worried

*YAWN*

(not so)happening week

can't find a title

22nd september. Happening day!

hurt

a song for you

New start

Unexpecting day

tiring day

Happy 090909!

YAWN